HOW TO GET STARTED?
I’ll stop eating candy! I’m going to learn how to cook! Next week, I’m signing up for the gym! I want to write a book … start my business … stop smoking … start meditating … write a blog … manage my stocks! Phew ….
Our desires collide, we’re teeming with ideas, we lose our focus, and projects we had barely imagined are instantly abandoned. The reason for this is quite simple. When we decide to start something, our brain has a role to play, that of forming a new connection, however it isn’t always cooperative because our brain is resistant to change. Yes, our brain is lazy! It functions at 95% based on the desires of our unconscious. Take the case of the pleasure you derive from a cigarette with your coffee; is it conscious or unconscious? Unconscious. We move through life on autopilot, to make our lives easy and conserve our energies. To ask our brain to accept new information, we have to retake control of it, impose our will in a conscious manner, and expect 25 to 30 days for it to create and assimilate a neural connection. Let’s remember the number of times we watched our children, fiercely concentrated, focus all their attention on tying their laces, until one day they could do it all while speaking with us.
Furthermore, while it’s certain that deciding to start a project can stimulate us, as it often takes time to see results, we often give up before we even get started. Let’s take temptation as an example. If we have to choose between biting in to a fluffy doughnut or depriving ourselves of it, what do we do? Eat it of course! The reward, the instant pleasure, is immediate, whereas losing weight is a long-term project, where we have to persevere and even suffer to see results. Instant pleasures can have negative effects long-term, however a new project can be off-putting the moment we start it.
So how do we start something which appears intimidating, inaccessible, hard, restrictive? When we decide to start exercising, the most difficult part is finding the motivation—getting out of bed, going to the gym—because once we’re there, we work-out without asking ourselves more questions.
How do we get started? How can we fight against our resisting brain? There is no magical formula, but there are a few tips that can help:
1.Create a favorable environment.
Remove all distractions. Put the phone aside or on silent, move the TV to another room, put the apples out on the counter not in the fridge drawer, lay out gym clothes ahead of time, even if it’s to tell ourselves “I’m just going to go, not actually exercise.” Sometimes just changing how we approach something can be enough. It’s that key moment, starting, that’s the hardest, once we take that first step we can keep going. A frequent complaint is “I should be able to, but I can’t control myself!”
You should know that the people who have the most self-control are those who are the least tempted. So remove all temptation!
2. Redefine the goal.
1. When we start a new project, we’re focused on the end result. Before thinking about that, it’s better to focus on the present, define the steps of the project, and work towards meeting them with small daily goals. Instead of dreaming of writing a book, better to set the goal of writing half-a-page a day. By setting ourselves accessible goals, we set ourselves up for success instead of failure. To achieve this, adopt the following approach:
“I will undertake such and such an action, on such and such a day, at such and such a time, in such and such a place.”
To get started motivation is not essential, but sticking to a detailed plan of action is!
3.Change the conversation, with ourselves, and quiet that interior voice that stops us from moving forward.
1. “I never finish what I start.” “I am not a good cook.” “I haven’t got the will.” “I don’t have time.” “I can’t control myself.” These obstacles we set ourselves often reveal a real desire, camouflaged by fear. “I’m scared I won’t make it!” tells us how much we actually want to succeed. The barriers to doing so protect us. What can we replace these sentences with? “If I work an hour per day, I’ll get my certificate.” “I can learn how to cook.” “I will make it.” “I can focus on it every Monday at 17h00.”
However, “I’m going to try” doesn’t work; trying is to protecting ourselves from an eventual failure, it’s to be disengaged, it’s to have an emergency exit.
These sentences, like mantras, form our beliefs, however our beliefs shape our behaviors, and our behaviors drive our performance. Let’s begin by reformulating them.
4.Before you start anything, ask yourself these three questions:
a. What do I need to get started?
b. How can I fit this in my schedule?
c. What’s going to be the excuse or through which could sabotage me as I get started?
With Covid-19, we’ve been forced to adapt to a new reality: homeschooling, social distancing, cooking, online yoga classes, working from home, meditation, wearing a mask, reading, puzzles, isolation, walking, biking… We started a new routine which has become our “new normal.” Let’s not wait until we find ourselves in a similar situation where we’re forced to change. Let’s take control. Let’s start.
If you want to explore further and have all the steps you should take to form a new routine, I highly recommend the book Atomic Habits by James Clear.